I am guilty of being jealous of the girl at the office who receives flowers on Valentines Day and then going home and starting a fight with my husband. I, like my good friend Dylan, believe that Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday that sends frantic men into drug stores in the middle of the night, hoping they can find something that will pass for romance b/c he completely forgot that this momentous day for his wife or girlfriend is now just hours away. So why the jealousy? I guess for me (and I would bet for many other women) Valentine's Day is a day that not only reminds me, but literally shoves in my face, how un-romantic my husband is. I too believe that receiving flowers, chocolate, letters, cards, etc, is much better on a random day as opposed to a corporate-made holiday once a year. But hoping that he will do anything romantic on a holiday, let alone a random day, is as likely as finding and owning my own Unicorn. So I suppose I'm guilty of the absolute ridiculous belief that maybe this year, on this one day that is reserved for romance, my husband will see the light and write me a letter, make me dinner, give me a "me" day where all the baby responsibilities are his without keeping score, etc. I've also heard that the definition of insanity is repeating the same action while expecting a different outcome... However, I'm pretty sure when you're handed a card with $300 dollars in it and Happy Birthday written at the bottom, romance is officially dead. Yes, I'm aware that $300 dollars is a lot of money, but I'm also pretty sure Julia Robert's character in Pretty Woman got way more money and at least had the option of leaving (well, without divorce papers).
I'm really not trying to bash my husband and make him seem like the biggest jerk on the planet. He is an excellent father, stable provider, and at times, can be quite chivalrous. I know that he loves me in his own way. Upon talking to several of my other friends in this same situation, this is more common then not. I think all women (and I'm sure some men) want to know that you hear us once in a while. For example, I think the most romantic gift I ever received (it happened to be on Christmas) was a copy of a really un-heard of movie that was so under the radar that it isn't even on DVD, only VHS. What made it romantic is that he knew I liked it and actually remembered me telling him I liked it. I don't think it cost him much money either. I guess I just want to know that even though men are supposed to tune women out, that my guy occasionally finds me interesting and intriguing and not the girl who brings him dinner and won't shut up during the game.
To those of you who are thinking..."Isn't she worried that her husband will read this blog?!" Nah, that would require enough attention for him to look at my blog, and then be interested enough to read this long post!!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Bugery Eyes in a Man's World
So I now have to call my boss to let him know that my beautiful child has pink-eye and that I won't be able to come to work today. I remember having this as a child and thinking that although it was annoying, it's not that bad and I get a day off from school!! But seeing your own child look a lot more Asian than she really is as well as green bugery stuff coming out of her eyes is heartbreaking. I know it's bothering me a lot more than it's bothering her...
So anyway, called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in. Background: I work at a place where there are only two other people who have children. One person's children are grown and the other unfortunately is slightly removed since her job is located away from everyone else's as well as administrative. I also work in an environment that- I'm just going to be brave enough to say- is still very much a man's world. That being said, I literally sat here terrified to call my boss. At this point, let me explain that my boss has never given me grief for having family issues and has even accomadated my weekend schedule by giving me a day off even though that's pretty much what I'm there to do. I guess I'm worried that it is hard for people without children to understand the limitless unforseeable illnesses or injuries that occur to a toddler. I don't think there is a more hazardous occupation than a toddler. I have just put Milynn in full-time daycare so I was aware that she would be getting sick more often as she will be exposed to more germs. It's pretty guilt laden if you break it down: "Here honey, you play here and expose yourself to all these other germy kids while mom goes out and earns money." I'm also not happy at all with my daycare. It's a government owned facility (that we qualify for due to occupation, not need, if that explains it better). I feel that they are completely underpaid and have way too many kids and not near enough staff. For example, a staff member called me today to inform me that I had to pick my child up due to pink eye. She then explained that a different child went home on Friday with pink eye and now on Monday (3 days later) four other kids were being sent home for symptoms. The kicker is that if Milynn would have came into contact with it on Friday she would have had symptoms on Friday or at least by Saturday. My child went to daycare today looking a lot less Asian and not at all bugery eyed. This says to me that she came into contact with the bacteria likely from an unclean surface, toy, etc. Milynn has also been sent home from daycare three times with fevers, had a bleeding diaper rash, and a busted lip all in a three week time span. I feel like I'm dropping my kid off to a germ infested land mine!! I have been lucky that Matt has been able to stay home with her these past weeks while I pretended nothing was wrong and went to work. Not to mention if Matt misses a day of work he still gets paid, not in my case. But luck has certainly run out and he cannot miss more days. I guess I'm worried I will be seen as a fraud, this mom who thinks she can still have a career in a place where being a parent is the minority. I can't count the times I've heard someone at work state in disbelief..."You have a kid!?" I guess I'm a really good fraud at times...
I'm going to hope my boss isn't too mad at me and doesn't think I'm unreliable b/c I have a kid. I think this is a dilema for a lot of working mothers. I love my child with all my heart but I also I love everything about my job. I have no desire to be a stay at home mom. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, in fact it's quite commendable. I just know for myself that I will be a better mom if I can have a seperate life that includes earning money for my family as well as being mom. Here's to hoping the door code doesn't change...
So anyway, called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in. Background: I work at a place where there are only two other people who have children. One person's children are grown and the other unfortunately is slightly removed since her job is located away from everyone else's as well as administrative. I also work in an environment that- I'm just going to be brave enough to say- is still very much a man's world. That being said, I literally sat here terrified to call my boss. At this point, let me explain that my boss has never given me grief for having family issues and has even accomadated my weekend schedule by giving me a day off even though that's pretty much what I'm there to do. I guess I'm worried that it is hard for people without children to understand the limitless unforseeable illnesses or injuries that occur to a toddler. I don't think there is a more hazardous occupation than a toddler. I have just put Milynn in full-time daycare so I was aware that she would be getting sick more often as she will be exposed to more germs. It's pretty guilt laden if you break it down: "Here honey, you play here and expose yourself to all these other germy kids while mom goes out and earns money." I'm also not happy at all with my daycare. It's a government owned facility (that we qualify for due to occupation, not need, if that explains it better). I feel that they are completely underpaid and have way too many kids and not near enough staff. For example, a staff member called me today to inform me that I had to pick my child up due to pink eye. She then explained that a different child went home on Friday with pink eye and now on Monday (3 days later) four other kids were being sent home for symptoms. The kicker is that if Milynn would have came into contact with it on Friday she would have had symptoms on Friday or at least by Saturday. My child went to daycare today looking a lot less Asian and not at all bugery eyed. This says to me that she came into contact with the bacteria likely from an unclean surface, toy, etc. Milynn has also been sent home from daycare three times with fevers, had a bleeding diaper rash, and a busted lip all in a three week time span. I feel like I'm dropping my kid off to a germ infested land mine!! I have been lucky that Matt has been able to stay home with her these past weeks while I pretended nothing was wrong and went to work. Not to mention if Matt misses a day of work he still gets paid, not in my case. But luck has certainly run out and he cannot miss more days. I guess I'm worried I will be seen as a fraud, this mom who thinks she can still have a career in a place where being a parent is the minority. I can't count the times I've heard someone at work state in disbelief..."You have a kid!?" I guess I'm a really good fraud at times...
I'm going to hope my boss isn't too mad at me and doesn't think I'm unreliable b/c I have a kid. I think this is a dilema for a lot of working mothers. I love my child with all my heart but I also I love everything about my job. I have no desire to be a stay at home mom. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, in fact it's quite commendable. I just know for myself that I will be a better mom if I can have a seperate life that includes earning money for my family as well as being mom. Here's to hoping the door code doesn't change...
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